First of all, I'd like to start out with the fact that I don't believe myself to be psychic in any sense of the word. I think FD has said that he suspected or something when he first met me, and has made references since to things. All the same, I don't /feel/ psychic. None of those echos in large crowds or whatever he's spoken of before.
That said, I do seem unusally sensitive to emotion, despite my attempts to not care about things. Now, not people's feelings, per se, as I can be quite selfish sometimes,but their literal expression of emotions. This friday I found myself in the situation of having another less-than-great report card. I was in trouble, of course, but my punishment is relatively light by most standards. Even so, even though my parents barely raised their voice, I felt absolutely miserable.
Now, that's probably not all that out of the ordinary, but it's more than just that. Even when that negative emotion isn't directed at me, I feel so... nervous? Uncomfortable? Anxious? Annoyed? I'm not even sure, but it's definitely not fun. Whenever my dad gets upset over politics at the fire house, I feel it, but I really couldn't care less about politics at the fire department. My dad just hurt something. I didn't even see, as it was in the room across the hall, but I felt close to tears until he went downstairs. Now, some of that could very well be a mixture of stress over my homework and tiredness, but... it seems so extreme.
Now, why am I writing this? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe just to try and work out my own confused feelings about this. I don't want to dillude myself into thinking it's some psychic ability, because more likely than not, it isn't. For all I know, it may be perfectly normal, with one of those good ole rational explanations. Is it possible for there to be a subconscious emotional peer pressure?
Now, why am I writing this? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe just to try and work out my own confused feelings about this. I don't want to dillude myself into thinking it's some psychic ability, because more likely than not, it isn't. For all I know, it may be perfectly normal, with one of those good ole rational explanations. Is it possible for there to be a subconscious emotional peer pressure?
Am I hoping that someone reading this will help me sort it out? Maybe. I don't want to get rid of it, I don't think, as it's about the only thing keeping me from being completely selfish and apathetic. Maybe it is normal, then. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I'd just rather know.
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