Espeonic Tales: Split

Update here, more because Skype is fairly empty today. Anyways, this might be a little depressing (as I think I'm a little depressed), and I might not make much sense, but oh well...

First of all, I'd like to start out with the fact that I don't believe myself to be psychic in any sense of the word. I think FD has said that he suspected or something when he first met me, and has made references since to things. All the same, I don't /feel/ psychic. None of those echos in large crowds or whatever he's spoken of before.

That said, I do seem unusally sensitive to emotion, despite my attempts to not care about things. Now, not people's feelings, per se, as I can be quite selfish sometimes,but their literal expression of emotions. This friday I found myself in the situation of having another less-than-great report card. I was in trouble, of course, but my punishment is relatively light by most standards. Even so, even though my parents barely raised their voice, I felt absolutely miserable. 

Now, that's probably not all that out of the ordinary, but it's more than just that. Even when that negative emotion isn't directed at me, I feel so... nervous?  Uncomfortable? Anxious? Annoyed? I'm not even sure, but it's definitely not fun. Whenever my dad gets upset over politics at the fire house, I feel it, but I really couldn't care less about politics at the fire department. My dad just hurt something. I didn't even see, as it was in the room across the hall, but I felt close to tears until he went downstairs. Now, some of that could very well be a mixture of stress over my homework and tiredness, but... it seems so extreme.

Now, why am I writing this? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe just to try and work out my own confused feelings about this. I don't want to dillude myself into thinking it's some psychic ability, because more likely than not, it isn't. For all I know, it may be perfectly normal, with one of those good ole rational explanations. Is it possible for there to be a subconscious emotional peer pressure? 

Am I hoping that someone reading this will help me sort it out? Maybe. I don't want to get rid of it, I don't think, as it's about the only thing keeping me from being completely selfish and apathetic. Maybe it is normal, then. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I'd just rather know.

Update, Down, and Sidebars

Well, I added a bunch of new places to my sidebar over to the right there. I encourage you to visit them and join them so that I can actually have some friends on them. >.> Anyways, yeah, hope to see you theres.

Also, after recent frustrations with FF.net, I'll probably be going the way of FD and Ricky and starting to post my review responses here. Just a heads-up on that.

Also, school tomorrow... ug...

Rest In Peace

Warning: The following post contains an emotional roller coaster with death, insults, and cries for help. The last two are mostly directed at Ricky, though. It also seems to contain appearances by Es' and the six-year-old Kira, though they aren't clearly marked and run together. Please keep these warnings in mind and read at your own risk.

So... my bunny, Timothy, died last week, right before we left for Denver. I thought I was doing okay, but now I'm not so sure. The thing is, I don't feel that bad about his death, itself, but my mom gets really emotional about it, and that's what makes me feel really bad about it. Tonight we came home, so she obviously got emotional about it. It, in turn, made me feel bad. Now, though, I can't seem to shake that semi-depressed feeling, even though she isn't as bad now... I dunno... Maybe I'm just tired... It's been a long day of airports and airplanes... It's just... Meh... I don't even know anymore... I just really felt the need to say something...

In related news, Ricky is a jerk who likes sleep and his story better than me. Of course, I'm just feeling selfish and emo and Es'-like right now, so... Ug... So tired... but I don't wanna sleep... I wanna RP with Ricky... Stupid Ricky with his stupid dial-up at his stupid house with his stupid sister and stupid story and stupid bed... Sparky is stupid and unoriginal, too, and I'm not going to let Es' ever go near him... so there...

...

I'm sorry... Please don't hate me Ricky... I don't have enough friends as it is... But why did you have to go to sleep? Why couldn't you have forced yourself? I wanted you to help me and you didn't... (Pout) You're not very nice, Ricky Filion! You're just lucky I'm usually good at tollerating you... I wanna RP! I think I need my Bit and Es' plushies... I hope you're all happy in your nice dreamful sleep! (Sigh) I'm tired...

KA said he couldn't comment

I checked my settings. I think he's wrong. This is for people to test.

SNAFU

Well, grades are down again, and with them, my emotions. If it isn't one class, it's another. Happens every time, now... Makes you wonder if I should really take the classes I'm taking next year... but that's not important. There's still good news in that I can still play video games, and occasionally go online. PMD2 was not taken away, either. I should still be able to compete in that Pokemon D/P tournament on dA, so that's good too. It's gonna be a rough 5 weeks until summer, still.

Enough about my depression, though. Let's see if I can find something positive to talk about. Hm... Let's talk about Bit... Let's see... What should I say? She's fun, and old in my mind, and there are like 5 of her, or something. I think Code Lyoko stole ideas from my mind that were related to her. They even stole things that hadn't happened yet! Although... she's a mew now. They didn't steal that, per se...

Speaking of her being a mew, I worry about her, I guess. Something like that. She's gone a lot more than she used to be. I'm sure Logan keeps her alright and stuff, but I still miss her. Contrary to what Ricky often tries to imply, though, I do not love her. Not like that, at least. She's more like a sister to me. Yup. That's all.

(Notice the seamless transition from real life to fantasy?)

Temporal Projection

As this school year begins its slow decline, I find myself having to do a final project for AP Physics. Well, needless to say, I wasn't sure quite what to do. Despite being able to choose one's own topic, I had trouble thinking of what I would do for it. I originally thought about having a solar panel power a motor, which turned a generator, which powered the light for the solar panel, all as a way to show how energy is lost in various ways. However, today we were given a list of suggestions for topics, and sitting right there, looking at me in a way that said "Why didn't /you/ think of me?", was the perfect topic. What is it, you ask? Why, "Theories about Time Travel". Now, as many of you imaginary readers know, I am absolutely /fanatic/ about time travel. Everything from the flux capacitor to the TARDIS to Celebi, and even more. So, it's quite obvious that this is just about the best topic I could hope to get. I'll still need to do the research and make a presentation and a website, but I doubt I'll get bored. Maybe I can actually finish Physics this year with a nice shiny A.

In other news, Bit has become my obsession again, though I guess you'd know that from my last post. Well, either way, she's fun. I only have her in two RPs, though, and one of them she'll probably be leaving soon. Ah well...

Old Friends and Old Enemies

So... Things are going on in my life that lead to stress and not fun. I don't really feel like talking about them, though, even though no one reads this. Instead, I'm just gonna post an unfinished piece of writing for the enjoyment of my imaginary readers.

---

The girl smiled sweetly, her image prominently displayed on the screen. “How may I help you?” she inquired softly, her prepubescent voice sounding clear and intelligent, though still with that slight lisp of childhood. Brown hair strung down past her shoulders and beyond the lower boundary of the screen. Green eyes searched around the room actively, their gaze in sync with a small camera above the monitor. Eventually her eyes, and in turn the camera, refocused on the person she had originally addressed.

He had been watching her, admiring her curiously. Now that she had come back to him, he spoke, “Hello, Bit. Do you know who I am?” The mad grined as he saw in her eyes the look of analysis that he knew so well. He had missed that look. It had been so long…

“Professor Michael Taylor,” the girl replied after a few seconds. “Age 58. Employed in the Research & Development department of the Extended Information Agency as a computer programmer. Current status: design and testing of the Beta Intelligence Technology program, a prototype artificial intelligence proposed to work in conjunction with the Technologically Enhanced Research & Analysis network. Marital status: divorced from Doctor Rose Quinn (remarried; James Quinn). Children: one girl, deceased, Bri-”

“That’s enough,” the older man said suddenly, cutting her off. “Needless to say, you do indeed know me.” He was quiet for a moment, something obviously on his mind.